Making Excuses

I debated for a while with myself what the hell went wrong! I thought maybe he didn't know how to handle having a baby or maybe he didn't know how to deal with Jay having down syndrome. He never talked about Jay having T21 he always said, "its okay" or "I'm not worried" but never anything else. Trust me, I've lost so much sleep trying to figure out how a "man" can say he loves his child more than anything in this world but yet, can walk out of his child's life and never call to check on him, never ask if he needs anything, never sees if he okay, nothing. I don't get that at all! How can he ever judge me as a mother and tell me how sorry he felt that my son had such a ret***ed mother like me. Yet, look who's there for the babies every cry, every smile, every laugh, changing every diaper, being the only one to console his every cry, being the only one to take him a bath, etc.. It was a stab to the heart because he was the person I thought I was going to marry someday. This person whom I thought I was in love with wasn't the same person I fell in love with in the beginning- I could feel myself starting to hate him.